Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
