I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
