Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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