he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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