so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
