My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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