I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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