I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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