How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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