Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
