I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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