my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
