Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
