my mouth tastes like poor choices
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
