Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
