I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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