We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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