no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
