Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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