In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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