I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
