At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
