Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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