I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
