in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
