Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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