everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
