Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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