So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
