I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
