My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
