i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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