you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
