Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
