She's JV to your varsity
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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