I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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