Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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