Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
