she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
