my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
