You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
