well you can't waste a boner
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
