drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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