problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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