So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
