So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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