Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
