it's like iHOP with fire
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
