I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
