is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
