Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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