I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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